A New System

So I decided that my bold move to come home for two days was totally worth it. Not for the sex, and not for the stuff beforehand, but simply because i got to see her. We connected, and on so many levels. I feel like im on an eharmony commercial, but its like mary was saying..."When im with you, its like its only me. there are not two people here right now, there is only one." I think thats the most intimate you can get with another person this day in age. Modern culture has taken sex and put a horrible spin on it, so lets be honest, its not as sacred as it was back in the day (like Jesus days). She doesnt want to make the mistake again. I'm like cool; now i know you definatly donnt want it again, because you have confused me in the past by saying you dont want it, and the next day saying we should, and now i know to keep saying no as much as i can. But the stuff before it is going to be a bit of a leap for me I'm not going to lie. We are going to have to talk about this some more, but thats a problem too. I realized that i dont have much time to be home anymore. As of today, i have 17 days before corps starts full time, and then im gone till august 15. Then i learned some great news at the percussion party (and by great, i mean aweful): i have to go to tech a week earlier than drumline camp because im a vet, and all vets get there early. that really sucks. like i think they said i might get 3 days home before i have to come back to tech. so i propose this. if we cant change the circumstances, lets at least change our attitude about this. i am going to spend every waking moment of my life now thinking of ways to see you and be with you. you can do the same, but if you dont i understand. i will therefore be bombarding you with dates and ideas that may be risky, and you will shoot me down several times. but i beg you to take a risk on some occassions and see me because i promise, with my new date ideas, you wont be sad that you took the chance. so that being said, i hope you are thinking of good date ideas, and i hope that we can spend a lot of time together before my corps tour starts. i love you with all of my heart baby.

chris parker

p.s. i love you