day 13

We had a full run today. it was pretty sweet. like, when i mean a full run, we had visuals everywhere, and acting, and our music was pretty clean. i think we are going to impress people next weekend. the only thing we might be missing is the prop, because it is unstable and it might kill someone, and that would be bad. well its late, but i need to go to bed. but before i go, you know what im going to say. she is great and amazing, and she can't be replaced ever. i dont plan to replace here, so i will get her no matter what. i love her......more than she does. HA!

chris parker

P.S. i love you

day 12

well this post will have to be short. im at odyssey and i need to go to bed. rehersal was hard today. its was also 14 hours (no more do i want to hear complaints of a 10 hour rehersal date...cough cough...a select few members of souths drumline and mainly front ensemble...cough cough). the whole show is on the floor. the only thing we are missing is our prop, and its being made so that its actually safe. the ending is at 190, and im taking about 7 steps and going 10 yards...while crabbing....at 190. i have marched for 4 years, and never EVER have i had a move quite like this one. (look for it, its when we really crank up the tempo, and trust me, you'll know when the big move is). after running throught the 4th movement, i just know people are going to be surprised at what they see. we are playing some cool suff, our show concept is ballin, and our drill is re-dick. as i said in the blog before, all i want is for mary to be impressed with what i do. i hope that she really is just awestuck and for the longest time, she can't believe her (shoot, i forgot your sexy nickname for me.....dang, we will just go with) baby is on that floor. im soooooo tired, and odyssey actually did put me in a good mood. we got a lot of work done, and i know by tomorrow, we will be ready for WGI, and we are going to tear the roof off. we will make people stand up and applaude for us, because that's how we roll. i hope my baby is out there figuring out the best she can who she is, and what she is suppose to do. i will be behind her no matter what (maybe not happily, but i will stand behind her), and i hope she knows that. i pray for her every night, for wisdom to see the right path, and for courage to take it. i hope she feel the imaginary kiss i blew in her general direction right now as she reads this super secret blog, and i hope she can hear me wisper in her ear

"darling i wish you were here" (yeah, that is vanilla twilight. chris ftw)

Chris Parker

P.S. I love you

day 11

today was bar none, the worst day i can remember. basically, shit was just piled on top of me until i was neck deep in it. well, its a blog, so i guess i should just tell you how the day went. well, i went to my 8 am class and i just had a quiz. it wasnt bad, but the day was just going to get worse. my director gave me an email saying to meet him in his office at 10 to talk about world championships. you see, world is on a friday, and that is a class day, and thus i would have to miss his class. i told him that i got a person to sub for me on that day and that he would cover my part, but all he said was he just wants me to know where my priorites are. but i dont think he understands that i have dreamed of this chance for a lot longer than me dreaming of being a music major. all he said was, let me do some schedule stuff, and lets talk after spring break. im afraid of what he might do. 2 years ago, a guy in our percussion section made MCM, and he did it for about half the season. then the director moved the concert date to the same date as world champioships just because he wanted that drummer to himself. well, the director now knows the date of champioships, and im worried. i got to symphony band, and i started feeling really bad. i was really out of it, and i was doing stupid shit like dropping sticks and stuff. then i would do stupid stuff like skip measures and misread time signatures. then the worst cam up. he asked us to play the second song, and i realized that i didnt have my hi hats. you see, our set up changes every day because we play different songs on different days. well, i forgot that i played hi hat, so when he said go to the second song, i realized that i didnt set them up. i walked briskly to the drum closet where the stand and hats were. the director saw me, and just started staring, and so did everyone else. he pointed to the piccolo player and said "she has her stuff together, why doesnt the percussion section?" it made me feel like shit, especially since someone moved the hi hat somewhere else, so it took another five minutes for me to set up. after i finally got them in the room and set them up, and looked up to see his stare. he was just enjoying my pain and suffering. he looked me in the eye and asked "are you SURE your ready?" I said yes sir, and we started. we didnt even go over the hi hat part of the song.

it took all of my strength to not cry during that class. afterwards i just broke down. i hated the class. the man made me do something i never wanted to happen. i hated music in his class. i began to realize that i hated music when he is making me do it. i cant lose my passion for music, but im afraid its slipping away. after the class, i cut my hand open on a stand. it really hurt. and then i got a really bad nosebleed. this day couldnt get worse.

but it did. as i was on my way to atlanta, i got pulled over. i was going 68 in a 55 because i was mad at life. i have to go to court that is 100 miles from tennessee tech in a month and i might have to pay a fine or go to driving school. but whatever it is, its going to suck. but yeah, my day got as bad as i could have gotten.

well, at least i have her. she is actually the reason im alive right now. i thought about driving off the road and hitting the pedal to the metal, but then i remembered her. i realized i do have something to live for. its her. my priority is to make her happy, and if i offed myself, i would be failing my task. so good job mary, you win. and thank you.

you know what i really hope. i really hope people see my show on saturday and realize how hard i worked on this. it has been so hard on me, and i dont thing people realize how much this has taken out of me. it is very hard. the hardest thing i have done ever. EVER!! and the only reward i will get out of this is going to world championships and making the people in my high school see me as a hero. especially my girl. i hope she likes the show. every second of it. i hope she sees it and is blown away. well, i hope odyssey puts me back in the mood tomorrow. goodness knows i need to get in a better mood. oh, and just in case she didnt get the subtle hint. i love you mary collins.

Chris Parker

P.S. I love you

day 10

I see her today. i skipped some classes and drove 200 miles to get there, but i wanted to prove to her something. that no matter what, i WILL be there fore her. it was hard to not just adore her the whole rehersal, but i had to remain professional, and it kinda sucked. i love my new percussion toys, they are just wonderful. guess what happened back at tech while i was gone. a HUGE fight broke out between the percussion section. apparently someone left a drumset where they shouldnt have and someone got ticked off and told the director to make him move it. long story short, sides were taken, and things got ungly. shots below the belts were taken. actually that is an understatement. they got a bear trap and ripped their balls off below the belt style. yeah, it was aweful. but apparently, a text just said that everything is fine. so thats good. im getting my knife soon, im super excited. and i have two papers due on tuesday, a lesson on monday, and then spirit on sunday. yeah, im a little over-booked. it makes me sad. but oh well, that is the life of a music major i guess. i cant wait till my baby sees me at spartenburg. she is going to freak, and be so proud that her love is out on that floor. i was proud of her group today. for the first time in a while, i saw people excited about their show, and really performing. sure there are issues with being out of step and the hands aren't good yet, but they have crossed a huge hurdle by simply adding energy to the show. an average person watching them perform would have absolutly loved their last run through, and that is better than no one liking the show right? well i hope that they see that, and that will inspire them to work all the way till the end. she also brought up the abstinence issue we are having. well, i am a little confused. as she said "chris, you will always be the bad boy in my life, and there is nothing you can do to stop it." am i suppose to make this good girl go bad (forgive the music reference) or should i respect her wish. maybe i should secretly seduce her and let her make the first move if the mood gets too hot for her. i think we should do that, but i want to hear her input. well its late. i need to go to bed. i hope she loves me as mush as i love her. i cant wait till i see them again

Chris Parker

P.S. I love you

day 9

So, she called today, and it completly caught me off gaurd. she was soooo cute and being all dangerous. it makes me appreciate how great she is. as for school, it sucks balls. im sleeping in a bit too much, and i have missed a few of my classes, but i think i can pull it off. i hate the annotated bibliography. its the stupidest assigment for the stupidest class in the whole world. there is absolutly no point. and i hate. just to reiterate, i hate my english class. on the other hand, i love choir. its great. we are singing some sweet shit, and i love it love it love it! i will have to sing change in my life to my special someone (wink, wink) hopefully she will like it. well, its late, so im going to be. goodnight my someone.....

Christopher Michael Parker

p.s. i love you

day 8

So, she got a blog. it makes me quite happy. i really need to stop staying up this late, but i have to practice for everything. im in the 2 hardest ensembles in the studio, plus lessons, plus odyssey stuff, plus spirit stuff, and i have to have time to do homework and school and such. its just going to be a hard to weeks on my body. i love every second of this music major life though. but what i love more is her. she backed me up 100% on the decision to do corps, and now that she has, i am much more confident in doing it this summer. though its going to be hard on me too. i think about her all of the time, and when im not thinking/dreaming about her, my heart throbs for her. i cant wait to see her again and to actually talk to her as well. i dont know when this will happen, but i do know that when the time comes, i will be so so happy. and in case she is reading this, i love you with ever fiber of my being. you make my busy shitty life worth living, and i can't wait to hug you and show you affection again, only this time, im never letting go.

yours truely,

chris parker

p.s. i still love you

Essay 2 sources

http://www.oregoncounseling.org/ArticlesPapers/Documents/DifferencesMenWomen.htm

http://www.mastersofhealthcare.com/blog/2009/10-big-differences-between-mens-and-womens-brains/

http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2009/03/men_vs_women.php

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200308/advice-men-vs-women

httThe social psychology of gender : how power and intimacy shape gender relations / Laurie A. Rudman, Peter Glick.

p://www.steadyhealth.com/articles/Difference_between_male_and_female_structures__mental_and_physical__a613_f0.html

Feminism : opposing viewpoints / [edited by] Andrea Hinding.

Communicating gender diversity : a critical approach / Victoria Pruin DeFrancisco and Catherine Helen Palczewski.

Why men are the way they are : the male-female dynamic / Warren Farrell.

day 3....and 4 and 5....and 6

Well if we want to get technical, this is also day 7, but whatever. So i was soooo happy to hear that my best friend and my love DOES still love me and she says she will at the end of these 40 days. the only thing is, when i ask her, she seems hesitant about it, like she is not too sure. that scares me a little, because i think they believe that we will just go away, and never come back together. because you see, they now think we are hormone drivin teenagers, and we are just together because we like the sex. but what they don't understand, is there is way more than that. i certainly believe so, and i hope she does too. but if it was just for the sex, i would not be writing this blog right now. i hope that one day, she will read our facebook thread and see what i have put on to this small blog. i hope she does. i just want to know that she will love me no matter what. i know her parents want her to never see me again, but i have a plan. i might say it, but for right now, im a little tired and i dont feel like writing so much this evening. instead, lets talk about odyssey.

i hope that she will like the show. its super hard, and thus its a little dirty. to me, im afraid that people will hear it and lose respect for me, or maybe its just my ears have gotten a lot better since i have left high school. i hope its the second, i really do. my uniform is pretty sweet. its black pants and a red shirt, but much more complex than that. its hard to describe, but it fits the show, so i like it. i hope....oh how do i say this without sounding creepy...im just going to say it. i hope she sees the show, and then she like (KEY WORD THERE IS LIKE) worships me because she thinks i look sooo good/she knows that she loves him and i love her. i hope she knows about all of the hard word that i put into this show and that it pays off when i hear her say at the truck after finals (wink wink, you can't miss it, its big and white..... ;) tehe) and just say "that was amazing. i can't believe i know you much less the fact that we are in love right now" oh, bad news must come now

Spirit called and begged me to do it. They offered a vibe and maybe a marimba spot, and and i think im going to do it. right now, she is either a)proud that i am following my dream or b)sad that we get to hand out in the summer or c)both. im going to guess c, but here is my logic behind doing corps this summer. i will (hopefully) have many summers with her, but i only have 3 left for corps. i love her, and i hope that she knows that she is always on my mind. but i also have to think about my future. corps looks good on a resume, and i will have a little bit of the end of the summer to hang out with her. plus, that should be more pride to her for the fact that she is dating a man in corps (because a man in a uniform is always hot). but there is another option. she could take a break for the summer if she wanted to. i would understand, because women like attention just above chocolate and teddy bears. its the truth. and a whole summer without a guy there to hang out would be pretty hard on her. i couldnt call everyday for hours on end, i couldnt really contact her much at all. (maybe a few texts a day, but that would be it). its hard for me to say, but i do believe that this decision is for the best. but i hope whoever is reading this will reply. just get a blog, its free. and please comment, i would like to know the feedback of what my writing is coming across like.

well thats all for now. talk to you soon.

chris parker

p.s. i love you

day 2

Well today i learned what i must do. Its going to be tough, but I must be strong. I thought about just giving up and just going at it with some other girl. I could just have sex all the time and just make it a lot easier. but i realized i dont want easier. i want mary. thats all. and i know that im going to fight for her for as long as i can. i know she will to, so therefor, her is my message to the world.

"you can not stop us, you can not change us, and you will never separate us. we will make it no matter what."

so take that world. and if you ever read this mary....

i love you

day 1

Today on February 17, I am starting an adventure. It's Ash Wednsday, and I believe my girlfriend gave up one of the hardest things in the world: her love. Her love for a guy. A guy she said she would die for. A man that is her whole world, and she wants to prove it in some way form or fashion. She gave up me. Normally, I would be worried that she would like some other guy (not going to mention names.....cough cough brad cough cough), but I trust her. You see I love her too. More than people understand or believe. You see, I was an idiot at one point in time. I broke up with her out of fear. I was afraid that I was throwing my life away. I wanted to be the guy that got the ladies in college, but why should I want that. If I had my dream girl in my arms, why did I let her go. Sin tempted me and won, as I lost one of the greatest aspects of my life. She never left though. She knew that we were meant to be. She held on whenever I didn't want her to, and I teased her saying maybe it would all be worth it. One day in december, I realized I was oh so wrong. I saw her and realized that I needed her just as much as she claimed she needed me. She begged for a second chance, and who was I to deny that to her. It turned out to be the best second chance I have given her yet. Unfortuantly, her parents are not too fond of me. They don't want her to be with me, so we have to stay silent about our love. People won't believe us, but we do not care. Because when your in love, you do anything for that one person. I believe that is what Travis told her to do today. You see, she spoke with travis (her youth minister) today, and all I know is she is not allowed to talk to me for at least 40 days. I called and messaged travis, but so far, no information about details have reached my ear. I am guessing it has to do with lent. You know, giving up what you love the most. Maybe he believes I am evil, or maybe it is a test of if we can last. But one thing is for sure, I'm ready. I believe that my baby can do it, and I will too. I would wait 4o years if I knew at the end of the road, she would be there, ready to hug me and dig her head into my shoulder. If only she knew, that is the greatest feeling a guy can have. Its not sex, it's not making out or touching, its when you hold the one you love, and you heart is beating so loud, she can hear it beat her name. That is a timeless moment that every guy should feel. It is what I look foreward to whenever I see her. I want to make her happy, for as long as I live. If this 40 day trial will make her feel happy, then I will endure. But I want her to see what I feel for these 4o days. Since we are not allowed to communicate, I have created this blog so she can see what I feel for every single day that we are apart. Enough with the intro, lets do this thing

day 1

Well, today is d day. The day that she told me with a few select words that we would not be speaking for a while. It came as a blow to me, and I read the letter several times to make sure I was correct in what it said. But I know now that she is hurt. I know that she is longing to talk to me like I long to talk to her. I feel her pain. I LITERALLY feel it. I believe that we are connected without technology. I have known her for so long and our love is so strong, I feel her with me now. I know she is saying "It's just 40 days Chris, you can do it. And baby, I love you". It keeps me strong when I am weak. She was the rock in my life (besides my Lord, Jesus Christ), and someone I could always depend on. But for her, I will do anything. It reminds me of a song.

Your skin, oh yes your skin and bones turn into to something beautiful. And you know, you know I love you so.

You know I love you so.

Mary Collins, hopefully one day you will read this, and like I am now, you will cry tears of joy. It will be a long road ahead of me, but I am ready. I can't wait to see you

Sincerely,

Christopher Michael Parker

P.S. I love you

Steven, Levitt, and Dubner, Stephen. "Trading Up: Where Do Baby Names Come From?" Convergences. Ed. Robert Atwan. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2009. 119-123. Print.

"Why Middle Names Are Important." FamilyEducation.com Pearson Education, n.d. Web. 7 February 2010

Parker, Michelle. Personal interview. 25 Jan. 2010