day 1

Today on February 17, I am starting an adventure. It's Ash Wednsday, and I believe my girlfriend gave up one of the hardest things in the world: her love. Her love for a guy. A guy she said she would die for. A man that is her whole world, and she wants to prove it in some way form or fashion. She gave up me. Normally, I would be worried that she would like some other guy (not going to mention names.....cough cough brad cough cough), but I trust her. You see I love her too. More than people understand or believe. You see, I was an idiot at one point in time. I broke up with her out of fear. I was afraid that I was throwing my life away. I wanted to be the guy that got the ladies in college, but why should I want that. If I had my dream girl in my arms, why did I let her go. Sin tempted me and won, as I lost one of the greatest aspects of my life. She never left though. She knew that we were meant to be. She held on whenever I didn't want her to, and I teased her saying maybe it would all be worth it. One day in december, I realized I was oh so wrong. I saw her and realized that I needed her just as much as she claimed she needed me. She begged for a second chance, and who was I to deny that to her. It turned out to be the best second chance I have given her yet. Unfortuantly, her parents are not too fond of me. They don't want her to be with me, so we have to stay silent about our love. People won't believe us, but we do not care. Because when your in love, you do anything for that one person. I believe that is what Travis told her to do today. You see, she spoke with travis (her youth minister) today, and all I know is she is not allowed to talk to me for at least 40 days. I called and messaged travis, but so far, no information about details have reached my ear. I am guessing it has to do with lent. You know, giving up what you love the most. Maybe he believes I am evil, or maybe it is a test of if we can last. But one thing is for sure, I'm ready. I believe that my baby can do it, and I will too. I would wait 4o years if I knew at the end of the road, she would be there, ready to hug me and dig her head into my shoulder. If only she knew, that is the greatest feeling a guy can have. Its not sex, it's not making out or touching, its when you hold the one you love, and you heart is beating so loud, she can hear it beat her name. That is a timeless moment that every guy should feel. It is what I look foreward to whenever I see her. I want to make her happy, for as long as I live. If this 40 day trial will make her feel happy, then I will endure. But I want her to see what I feel for these 4o days. Since we are not allowed to communicate, I have created this blog so she can see what I feel for every single day that we are apart. Enough with the intro, lets do this thing

day 1

Well, today is d day. The day that she told me with a few select words that we would not be speaking for a while. It came as a blow to me, and I read the letter several times to make sure I was correct in what it said. But I know now that she is hurt. I know that she is longing to talk to me like I long to talk to her. I feel her pain. I LITERALLY feel it. I believe that we are connected without technology. I have known her for so long and our love is so strong, I feel her with me now. I know she is saying "It's just 40 days Chris, you can do it. And baby, I love you". It keeps me strong when I am weak. She was the rock in my life (besides my Lord, Jesus Christ), and someone I could always depend on. But for her, I will do anything. It reminds me of a song.

Your skin, oh yes your skin and bones turn into to something beautiful. And you know, you know I love you so.

You know I love you so.

Mary Collins, hopefully one day you will read this, and like I am now, you will cry tears of joy. It will be a long road ahead of me, but I am ready. I can't wait to see you

Sincerely,

Christopher Michael Parker

P.S. I love you